I thought maybe I should update this Blog with some news of what is happening in my circles and life.

Am still doing my practical for the medication administration course and finishing it off FINALLY this week. Bloody oath it has been like drinking tar and swallowing feathers with it. It's not the prac, but getting there either late evening for the 6 and 8 o'clock rounds or 7 am ( 5.30 wake-up call) on the floor for the 8 o'clock morning rounds. It COLD and dark outside and I'd rather be a bear and hibernate in front of a fire with a good glass of red something or steaming plate of crispy bacon and soft, free range eggs with mushies on the side than hit the road to give meds to sick people. Talk about compassion and recognition and the appreciation of the lasting good of further education.

I must say I believe as I get older that I should live a life of ease and luxury and just do social butterfly, goodie two shoes stuff... like hell I'd go barmy, but I won't say no to the life of LUXURY. No more worrying about the bills, could walk into a shop, buy myself a new pair of shoes without counting my budget, go out to my favorite restaurant sometimes for dinner and buy at least a $20 bottle of wino to go with it without thinking O.K will I have enough left over for emergencies before payday comes, and have a good day at a Day Spa when I feel old and stiff from working myself into that state helping others back onto their feet at the hospital, go on a adventure holiday in South America especially Peru with a bunch of like minded friends and be able to pay for their adventure, give more than a pittance to a street busker and set up a housing ( I'd call them The House of Sunshine) and medical and social assistance ( counselling etc) for the homeless, frail and infirm in mind, body and spirit .... the list goes on and on.

The Old School says for me to be happy I have my health, roof over my head, food on the table and a job.... yep I AM happy with that, but I WANT MORE! I can understand that philosophy after the war as my parents among many, many others were thank full just to have that basic stuff, but I WANT MORE... and SO BE IT and SO IT IS!!!! I want my Houses of Sunshine and I want my Day Spa days, etc and I want not to have to worry about bills and I want the Love of my life to SHARE it all. Is that too much to ask.... I DON"T THINK SO.


I have had an interesting time of it with a old friend recently as she got onto her high horse and started telling me how I should be with my family and was it really my business what and whom of them was where and when. Like Keh.... I was somewhat ( to put it mildly) taken back and replied to her that well... it was far, far more of MY business that hers being a mare acquaintance of the spoken family and to step back and get back into her hole for she had no business interfering nor right to question my authority to know and to get a life and see if she can take care of her own business and family business first before telling others what they should be feeling and doing. She also threw something I had entrusted her with back at my face and that disloyalty and viciousness is hard to swallow from whom I had thought and trusted as a friend so I spat it and her out before I choked in my disappointment and sadness of trusting her with the feelings I had at the time.

I think there were ulterior motives as in being attracted to one member of this family ( whom happens to be older, well off and a widow) and as she thought perhaps she was getting nearer she launched into a attack to exercise her muscle and grind any wrongly perceived or worrying opposition to the ground... Sorry to tell, but me thinks the member of the Family is in luurv with someone else and he is going to go for a holiday with this woman next month all around a Europe and paying all the expenses to boot ( now that is COURTING), so this 'friend' maybe got peeved off realizing it because she told me if he was to get sick and die in Europe it'd be easier and cheaper to cremate him there and then fly the ashes home. At the time I laughed about it, but later when the poo hit the fan I thought... Ummm ... is that sounding like woman scorned and how!!! Yikes....
Anyhow, needless to say I pulled back and just laid it down the line first with some measure of compassion (as I know what rejection feels many times over) and truth plus a warning not to tell people what they should be doing and how they should be feeling.

Over a decade friendship down the gurgler because of the vicious, self righteous and pompous e-mail she wrote to me. What is wrong with some women...as soon as there is a well off, older man around it's like the felines are scratching anything and everyone to get to him first and the competition heats up as they try and scratch and fight their way up only to find he's up on his pole sunning himself with his soul mate. In the mean time the felines have burnt bridges left, right and center and start blaming other for their sorry arses.

What the hell would one need to compete for as if the man is meant for one then he'll be there no matter what kind of adulation, competition and fight rages around him as he only will see you and feel love for you. Well, am not sure if it happens or am I dreaming the impossible dream, but that the sort of a man I WANT not some Romeo whom laps up all the attention in his vanity. Yikes again... he would not survive too long before being told there is a door and it ain't a revolving one and so take an opportunity to use it post haste before thrown through it by me and myself, heheh.

Where are the strong, confident, honorable, honest, good humoured and sensitive men. ARE they all dead in my age group (52) or are they all married or gay. I must say the men I have met take a quick hike after meeting me as I seem to scare the Bejesus out of them or then I don't match their image of a blond, long legged, hourglass figured Goddess as they ofcourse resemble Hercules ( yeah) and believe that Goddess they deserve with their own amazing, good looks. Male vanity again. Seems if a woman is independent, strong, confident, spiritual and with a wicked sense of humour they get scared and run. WHOOSH... don't see them for a dust and frankly don't want to because I generally would chew those scady cats up and spit them out before breakfast. Hmmmm... I have several female friends whom are the same and are truly the warrior women with their strength and resolve after Life's Storms have tempered them and more beautiful bunch I have not seen. They are not vicious and nasty, but with a strength, integrity, loyalty to their true friends, sense of amazing humour and an ability to laugh at themselves and at life. Now I'd like to meet the men to match these Warrior Women myself included for we'd make most powerful couples around with our twin souls. One of these Sisters has met hers and yes... I can tell you they are head over heals in love, have the greatest sex life ( has anyone heard of 3... yes gals 3 hour orgasms... I have), but also have the greatest of friendships and truly down to Earth partnership. WELL... where is mine I ask of the Heavens.... where IS IT... HMMMM??????

Never mind, the wait continues as I cannot push the river and in the mean time am living my life to the fullest and sharing this most beautiful planet with a bunch of amazing friends and family, knowing my day in the Sun will come... someday.

Viva La Viva!

Butterfly 13 :-)